November 16, 2007
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Not a very good guidance counselor…
I always thought I would make a great guidance counselor. Prior to my current job at Xanga, I was an academic advisor for three years – a camp counselor for 2 summers – and a camp administrator for one. Additionally, I’ve made my share of mistakes in my college and job applications, and had my share of lucky breaks. I feel like I know the ropes and could be a real resource to my fellow men and women attempting to make their way through academia.
Unfortunately – I often forget the most important lesson of my years mentoring (and of fighting with my parents about what I’m going to do with my life). When seeking to help someone, giving advice is less important than giving support. Most of the time – people already know the solution to whatever challenge they face. Rather than suggestions, what they really need is someone to help them find the courage to do what needs to be done. I’ve failed at helping someone I care deeply about today – and even worse, I lost my temper and exchanged some angry IMs. I don’t know what to do. I hope I can make it up to her.
Any advice?
Comments (4)
sorry man… what a bummer.
i find that there are two phases when people want help. in phase 1, they will want to be understood. during this phase, they just want someone to listen while they explain the situation.
during phase 2, they feel understood and are ready to move onto solving the problem. you can usually tell, because they will start to solicit advice by saying things like “i dunno… what do you think?” or even a more blatant “what do you think i should do?”
uh oh… i hope you’re in phase 2 now!
Let her cool down for 1 day… than give her a call or send her an ecard 2 say Sorry. U won’t b the 1st person 2 make this mistake. I find that this is a common problem… not just in advice via academics, but in life… when it comes to how a woman and a man’s communication. Guys r just more logical than girls & girls are more sensitive than guyz (in a good way.) In the end, it’s good that u realized your mistake & it’s good that u cared enough 2 give her your advice.
Ironically, I think you already know what you need to do.
Take that step of faith…and just do it…
You’ll know when the timing is right…
but, in my opinion….sooner is always better.
Blessings.
Ironically, I think you already know what you need to do.
Take that step of faith…and just do it…
You’ll know when the timing is right…